Stand by Me.

Wanna fuck with me? You really wanna start playin this kind of game?
See, normally i would say some shit like "You hit hard, I fucking kill you." But for this, this particular situation i got a chance to really understand what truly needs to be done, not necessarily what i wanted to be done. So this time around, you want to play this fake, bullshit, attention is all i need game? Go ahead. Go right ahead. I am straight ok with it. Do it how you want to. I'm allright. Don't get me wrong, im heated, im angered, shiit i was straight furious i would've beat the shit out of anyone involved. But time gave me a chance to relax, to think, to recouperate. So i did, and i like that decision. So what does that leave me to do?

My name is Neil Carlo Gonzales Viyar.
I'm from Guam, born and raised for 13 years. Now residing in Hawaii.
Family of 6 with my mom and dad, 3 sisters and me.
Got the friends that shouldn't just be considered the best, but the shit.
My history has labeled me to who i am today. Its my history that makes my friends think of me the way they do. My history is horrible. My history is terrible. My history is definitley not something i am proud of to the highest degree. Its cliche to say you want to take something back. So instead ill use the other cliche and say i am trying to do everything in my will power to overcome that history and not start fresh, but pave a whole new road, a better view of me, a more respected Neil.
I know i have made more mistakes in my life than millions of people combined. But its those mistakes that will only continue to improve my life more and more as i continue to breath the air in the world. So to allow those mistakes to darken who i am becoming. To allow those mistakes to shadow me, but brighten the one who isnt truly hurt, but instead looks for the attention, looks for the satisfaction of being sympathized, not for comfort, not for the good feeling, but the undivided, selfish, attention. Doesnt just sadden me, it angers me to a whole nother level.
This isnt for comments, this isnt for sympathy. This is who i am, this is what i want to be, this is where i want to go, this is what i want to accomplish.
I never did any of this for the attention, and i never will.
All i really can ask for is a chance. A chance to show you this is a growing process, difficult one at that.
You're my boys, my family. All i ask is for a chance to show u history is not going to repeat itself. For you guys to trust me.
And as for "you". I have gotten to know you well enough to say they we're right. Attention is blood, and your a vampire thirsting for it.
I was weak, you got to me, i crumbled down and let it out in a rage i never felt IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
Not anymore.
Now i'm calm. Angered, but calm.
Continue what you're doing. I wont stop you.
All i can say is.

I'm learning to learn.
Dogs, Stand by Me